KirstenL4W

I’ve been really tired lately.  Stress does that to you.  I emailed my mom and told her how it’s going to be when she’s here for my wedding.  She responded saying that she understands, but then came back with a blog post that tells me she really doesn’t get it.  I mean, with a tiny wedding that is cutting out a lot of the traditional details, there really isn’t much to do.  I know she’s eager to help, but honestly, if you were visiting a strange city, would you want to be given a list of errands and a map?  Me either.  FH and I are planning it so that there will be very little to do, and if there is anything that needs being done, those jobs will go to local friends.  It just makes more sense that way, don’t you think?

Sis also tells me that mom has been complaining that I won’t be spending more time with out of town guests (aka her and my uncles).  This wedding is not a week-long affair with fun events planned every night.  The wedding will take place on one day.  In the days before, I need to work, since I have one of those jobs that likes me to be there - at 7am.  Doesn’t leave me much time for going out on the town.  And FH and I would really like to take time for us, so we can chillax a bit before the wedding, just the two of us.  If I spend the days before the wedding playing tour guide and planning a million pre-wedding events, then I will not be a blushing, beaming, glowing bride walking down the aisle.  I will be a frazzled madwoman.  I think FH prefers the first one.

Mom brought up this issue of a tie.  She thinks I’m focused on her buying Dad a tie.  It will be 105°F or so outside that day.  I don’t think Dad will want to wear one, and that’s fine.  But it’s not my mom’s job to buy him a tie.  They’ve been divorced for over 30 years now.  Let his wife pick out his clothes, or *gasp* let Dad do that himself.  What a concept.  And don’t even get me started on my mom calling me to update me on Gram’s health yesterday.  My paternal grandmother - not her mother.

So I haven’t been around here much lately.  I’ve been over at LJ so I can vent out loud a lot more, since LJ lets you control exactly who gets to see each post.  Nifty feature.  Here it’s only public, registered users (I don’t do that registering thing here), or no one can see it.  On LJ I can pick and choose.  So there.

Excuse me while I eat a little piece of sugar coma in a foil wrapper - aka the Cadbury Creme Egg.

I was going to compose a post about academics, but I burned my finger while preparing dinner tonight.  I have a tendency to be a bit of a clutz in the kitchen.  Anyway, the pad of my right middle finger (the exact part of the finger that touches the keys while I’m typing) has a large and still-growing blister.  I will try to type up something to post tomorrow, but right now I have to try and finish making dinner without cutting my finger off.  That might make it feel better, though.

‘Splain something to me.  This past week saw me eating way too much fast food, since Boyfriend and I didn’t go grocery shopping.  We ate out, ate fast food take-out and too much junk food, didn’t track points and didn’t exercise.  Yet today when I weighed in at WW today, I was down 1.6lbs.  I do not get it at all.  All the rules were broken and I was still down.  This totally sends the wrong message!

In other news, the computer issue has finally been fixed.  Turns out all I had to do was update the driver for the network adapter.  Lesson learned: stay away from Vista.  Research done regarding my problem shows that many, many people have issues with accessing the internet via wireless even though the actual wireless connection is strong.  It’s unique to Vista.  Save yourselves and get a Mac.

Boyfriend and I went to LA on Monday to meet some of his Silly Little Game friends for lunch.  I was going to blog about that earlier in the week, but the computer issue was more pressing.  I’m hoping to get around to it this weekend, while it’s still fairly fresh in my mind.

Is anyone here lactose intolerant? I am. I don’t have to religiously read the ingredients on food packages, and there are dairy products that I can have without much issue. But sometimes the rules decide to change themselves on me.

I don’t care to drink plain milk, but I make pudding and chocolate milk with Lactaid, which tastes the same as milk. I’ve never had a problem with my favorite ice cream, and I love cheese, especially a nice sharp, hard cheese. I don’t have issues with these things. I do avoid creamy dishes, though because of the cheese I’m OK with alfredo. I avoid all ice cream products from Sonic, which I learned the hard way. Even real whipped cream has been known to mark its territory. Italian food, which is often times smothered in mozzarella cheese, has never bothered me. Until last night.

Boyfriend and I were out for our weekly oil change last night. Our regular Greasy Spoon very suddenly shut its doors this week, leaving us in the lurch. We quickly came up with a new place to meet, which is a place that we’ve been to a couple times before. I ordered the chicken parm sandwich, which was delish. I didn’t notice until later, but there was an awful lot of cheese on it.

TMI ahead

Women all over the world ride a hormonal roller coaster every single month. I’m one of them. Besides the bloating, cramps, sore bewbs, and the cost of buying products to catch and contain the bloody deluge and related pain, there are the predictable hormonal surges, but how they manifest themselves every month can be very, very unpredictable.

I make sure I take my vitameatavegemins, and I find that a calcium supplement can help a lot with the physical symptoms. But I still, after all these years, cannot figure out how to manage the mood swings. It would be really nice if I could just hide away for that week, just stay away from the world in general. Then nothing will trigger a mood swing, at at worst I watch a sad movie and cry through it. No one is bothered by it or tempted to put me away. But I have a job and an awesome Boyfriend, so I need to be in the world. My job is easy enough to handle - I might be a bit more tired than usual, but they provide caffeinated beverages to help with that. Aunt Flo seems to try her darndest to drive a wedge between Boyfriend and myself.

The absolute worst part of this is that my mind starts spinning out of control. I start filling myself with doubt - I doubt my abilities to even be in a relationship. I get frustrated so easily with the most minor of things, and my need to stay away from the world at that time makes me nostalgic for my single days - so much so that I start thinking that I was better off. I am so pissy and resentful at having to deal with another person during this time. I wish that I could do something to lessen the effects of this. I don’t want to be argumentative. I don’t want to think that I’d be better off alone. There’s stuff I can take for the bloat and cramps. But what can I do for the roller coaster? How do you all deal with this?

I had my first weigh-in today after being on WW for a week now.  I can feel that I’ve had a change in the right direction, so I was really eager to get on the scale.  (I know, I’m insane, right?)  I am happy to say that my feeling was right.  I lost … drumroll please … 5.6 pounds (that’s about 2 ½ kilos).  Woot!  Boyfriend did his own weigh-in, and he’s happy with his weight loss as well.  This gives me the motivation to keep going, that’s for sure.

WW has two plans now, Flex and Core.  Flex is the points system that pretty much everyone has heard of, and Core is just a list of foods that are permissable (it’s quite the list, too) and you just eat what you want from the core foods list until you are satisfied.  On both plans, you get 35 flex points per week to use however you want, the only thing is you can’t save them up week after week to go on an annual buffet bender or whatever.  Anyway, I am doing the Flex plan, because even though I am horrible at planning meals and such, I like that if I’m having a craving I can indulge it as long as I watch the points.  I like the accountability aspect of it, and I fear I may become lazy on the Core plan.  I’m still eager when I write something down in my book that is a core food.

I’ve gone and written down points values on everything in my desk drawer at work, and on a few things at home too.  I did that so I wouldn’t have to get out my points calculator all the time and so that if I am having a craving and just want to grab something, it’s still in my face how many points I’m using.  So far it seems to be working.

Tonight is the weekly oil change at The Greasy Spoon.  About a month ago I switched to having a salad and grilled cheese instead of onion rings and grilled cheese.  I’ve been feeling good about eating healthier there and not feeling deprived either.  The dining out guide I have gives points values for all sorts of restaurant food you might encounter, and I did the calculations - my new favorite meal there is low enough to not use a whole bunch of flex points.  Today, that means I’ll have used all my daily points and not gone over.  Yay me!

At Big Company where I work, they have some pretty nice benefits. One of the benefits is that they pay half the cost for a 10 week session of Weight Watchers, and meetings are held on campus. Since I gained a few more pounds that I care to admit, thanks to my experience with antidepressants, I figured that it would be a good way to lose weight. I had my first weigh-in today (no, I’m not telling you) and I feel good about doing this. Reading over the materials for this program, I am quite impressed that this is the only diet I’ve seen that allows you to eat your favorite foods, so long as you are aware of the points values. I got a restaurant guide to help me make choices when I eat out, which is inevitable in today’s society. And hey, I can still go to Cold Stone Creamery! According to the guide, a Love It Sinless Sweet Cream with cherry pie filling as a mix in is only 4 points. Knowing that I’m not breaking my diet by indulging a bit is a relief, not like other diets where so much as thinking about dessert is enough to bring on a severe scolding.

Boyfriend, while not formally participating in the program, will be supporting me by following the guidelines and making an effort. He also wants to work towards a healthier lifestyle, so I think this will be something we both can live with.

I’m not going to turn this into a total diet blog by journaling every morsel that passes my lips and every ounce I lose (or not), but I will from time to time blog about more abstract thoughts about this journey and trying to stay positive. Maybe if I’m nauseatingly sweet with positive thoughts I won’t crave chocolate so much. So, positive thought for today: I’m glad that going off the Paxil caused me to stop gaining weight and that I work for a company that cares about wellness so much.

For the record, it won’t happen in this 10 week session, but my overall goal is to lose about 60lbs.

I’ve been reading in the news that the plague seems to be making a comeback.  Dr. A. even had a post about it today.  Not to make light of a serious disease, but this year’s cold season feels like a plague.  Everyone is getting a cold, and just when you think you’re all better and have had a couple weeks to get used to having your relative health back, a relapse occurs.  Then another, and another.

I had my first part of this back in October, when an ear infection knocked me out.  I had stabbing pain in my ear and was getting dizzy.  I went to the doc, who prescribed ginormous pills to get rid of the infection, some prednisone for the inflammation, and some Nasonex to help with the nose stuff.  I hate nasal sprays, so I slacked on that one.  I much prefer a pill or yucky yummy liquid of some sort so that I can do shots.

So I got rid of the ear infection and saw no ill effects of it during my flight to and from Florida at Thanksgiving.  A week before Christmas, however, all heck broke loose.  The coughing, hacking, and nose blowing started.  I felt well enough to go to work, but during the holiday pot luck they wouldn’t let me near anything, so in order to eat I had to employ Frank to get me some food.  Shortly after Christmas I was finally feeling better.

Now it’s back in yet another form.  All last week I was waking up with a sore, scratchy and swollen throat that would get much better as the day went on.  I looked at my throat and it was red, but nothing else.  Every morning this happened, and over the weekend I noticed that I was congested too.  Not enough to blow my nose, nor enough to cough anything up.  It was a (TMI warning here) thick, sticky mucous that was stuck way up in the back of my throat in that area where the sinuses meet the throat.  I wasn’t feeling any better yesterday, so I took the day off from work to go to the doctor.  That was an effort in futility.  There were about 500 people in the waiting room, and I know from experience that if I did register there was no guarantee that I would be seen before, say, 2025.  I have things to do in this lifetime, so I decided instead to go to the pharmacy and talk to the men in white coats pharmacist.   I decided on some super-strength Sudafed, and except for a bit of a scratchy throat, I’ve been feeling better.

Boyfriend is sick now.  He’s been putting it off, but this morning when I said goodbye to him I noticed he sounded raspy.  On the way home from work he informs me that he called out of work today (which actually makes him feel better considering what jerks they’re being to him lately) and he’s been sitting at home with a blankie wrapped around him.

I went to the store in search of comfort food, and came home and fed Boyfriend.  He seems to be feeling better, since he’s playing his silly little game now.  I’m about to make my comfort food, Smiles, which is what happens when a Swedish immigrant hears about this Italian delicacy called spaghetti, tries it, and fails miserably.  Good stuff.

I hope everyone out there is surviving this cold season.  My office resembles a ghost town on some days, and I’m sure it’s the same for offices everywhere.  Just take it easy, load up on comfort foods, and get plenty of rest.

Photo © Richard Young Photography
So, here it is New Year’s Eve. I have just under 12 hours left for this year, and I’m tying to get it all done. Today is house cleaning day. Never mind that I haven’t started yet, or that there’s partying to be done tonite. And of course since Boyfriend and I are partying with our East Coast friends, that means midnight is at 9pm PST, when the ball drops in New York, so no showing up at this New Year’s party at 11pm.Yes, today is house cleaning day - an activity that I admit gets neglected until it drives me bonkers. And it’s junk food eating day. I think there’s some sort of law or something that says that everyone must make a New Year’s resolution to lose weight and/or eat better. Boyfriend and I have that one in mind, which means that we have a lot of junk food to finish off today.

Since I already did my yearly wrap-up with my Christmas Post, I’ll blog about what’s ahead for 2008.

The Blog:
I have made the decision to switch to WP. Once I get paid (since this is the week without a paycheck as I switch from weekly to bi-weekly pay) I’ll get that part done. I can’t wait! It will be so exciting to do all the things I want to with my blog since I’ll be able to create different pages. My head is spinning with thoughts of all the possibilities!

The Job:
As you know, I’ve been at my job for 6 months now, and I recently got hired on permanently, which means I can take advantage of their benefits. I’d like to go back to school and study accounting, which is something I realized I actually like (not like when I took it way back when). This is a course of study that can take me anywhere, and I can take advantage of my education immediately since I’m already in the finance department of Big Company. With that in motion, there’s nowhere to go but up!

The Boyfriend:
Since I met him, my life has been better than I ever imagined it could. Sure, Aunt Flo steps in every month to try and tell me otherwise, but she can take a flying leap for all I care. Boyfriend is awesome, and we are going to continue that so in love it makes you sick thing through 2008 and beyond.

The Personal Miscellany:
I gained a ton of weight on prescription anti-depressants, which I finally was able to ween myself off of last spring. I haven’t been able to kick the weight though, and motivation has been in short supply. Personal and job upheaval hasn’t helped. Now that things are steadier, and they have the WW Cult at work, I should be able to find the motivation to stick to it. I haven’t needed the meds either, instead choosing vitamins which, except for Aunt Flo’s interference, have worked quite well. I’ll have my health insurance in effect April 1, which will be great because I’ve put off going to the doctor for well visits, so this will be the year to get healthy all around.

I also want to get more organized. Boyfriend and I have a 1 bedroom apartment, so it’s been really cramped since I moved in. We don’t know if we’re ready to buy a house or just move into a 2 bedroom. Either way, I want to get my stuff out of the garage. Yesterday I cleaned out my email and cleaned up some of my music, but I want results I can see. Over the next month I hope to organize my desk area and at least unpack the rest of my books so that the bookshelf isn’t so empty. That’s about 10 boxes of stuff that already has a home, and will give me a good sense of accomplishment. I’d like this next year to be more organized and less cluttered, not just with my material things but with my life overall.

I hope all of you have a very safe New Year’s Eve, and here’s to a Great 2008! Cheers!

Boyfriend and I bought a Christmas tree today. Not a fake one like we had talked about. All the fake trees were so uninspiring. Instead we ended up with a nice Christmas-tree-scented real one. For those who have a fake tree but want the smell of a real one, I found that these candles are the most real scented ones out there. Anyway, we still have to decorate the tree, but I’m just psyched that there is a real live tree in our living room. Not thrilled that I had to go to four stores before I found a stand for the thing, but that’s what we get for waiting so long. Oh well. We have one now, that’s the important thing.

My Christmas post is done. I changed the date on it to the 25th, so it will be the top post on here until then. I put my blog address in my holiday cards, so I expect people will be checking it out. I wanted the “brag letter” to be easily accessible. You can see last year’s post here.

What I’m not thrilled about is this cold that I seem to be getting. I sneezed quite a bit yesterday, and now it seems that my nose is running. Where it’s going is beyond me, but this is not good. I will not be sick for the holidays. I will not be sick for the holidays. This will not happen.

I did get all my packages and cards mailed out today. Boyfriend mailed out the few that he had. We went to the little contract post office at the convenience store, because we didn’t want to be at the post office all day. I had 1 box, 4 bubble envelopes, 1 international letter to mail, and 28 regular first class stamps to buy. I knew what I had, what I wanted and was organized giving it to the clerk to process. Boyfriend had 4 letters, all going certified return receipt. Then he decided that 1 had to be there by Wednesday at the latest, so he waffles back and forth while the clerk tries to explain Express Mail and Priority Mail to him. He opts for (I think) Express. Then he decides that 2 of the letters can go in the same express package, since they are going to the same address. Mind you, while we were waiting in line I feverishly filled out the certified and return receipt forms for all 4 letters. Then, for the other two, for two different addressees at the same address, were as I filled out, but he had to make sure he explored all the options before sending them as he originally decided. When we got to the counter, there was no one in line behind us. By the time we left, there was a line snaking its way around the convenience store. Boyfriend said, “Chaos, mayhem and destruction. My day is complete!”

The decongestant that I took a while ago seems to be kicking in a bit, so I’m going to wrap this up, have some dessert, and get cracking on Boyfriend’s stocking. It’s cut and pinned, now I just need to sew it. By hand, since I don’t have access to a sewing machine. We’ll see if it actually holds anything.

Inspired by a thread at ADL.

In the past year, I have made a bunch of good friends. I got in a wreck and got a new car, experienced the misery that is a cast to fix a broken bone. I met my premature niece, who decided to make her grand entrance two months early, but when I was relatively nearby. I changed jobs a few times and got into one I like, and most importantly I met and moved in with the most wonderful, awesomely best man in the world.

In the past 2 days, on the other hand, I have not been feeling too well. I think I’ve been having a very low grade but persistent upper respiratory infection. Driving over the Sierras last week brought hellish pain to my ears, which is a bit unusual, and today I’ve been having slight bouts of dizziness. I left work early and slept most of the day. The slight stuffiness, fatigue and such I can deal with, the dizziness and ear pain that make me take unpaid time off from work - not so much. OTC decongestants have been helping, and hopefully it goes away soon.

Not feeling too well today. I think this whole week just needs to go away.

First, there was the car issue - again. And since I tend to hold all my tension in my neck and shoulders, I have had tight muscles and sharp pains in my shoulders all week. Last night Boyfriend gave me a pill that he takes when his back bothers him. My shoulders feel better today, but I didn’t sleep well at all despite the claims that I would be knocked out cold by this pill. I woke up with a migraine and ended up coming home from work after less than 2 hours there. I slept until after 3pm, then tried to eat something. Of course now South Beach isn’t agreeing with me. I need comfort food (aka carbs) and can’t have any of it. I feel dizzy and queasy. I would probably feel better if I was doing this diet and keeping to a regular schedule, but the migraine really threw me off. I cracked and had some M&Ms for the sugar, since a hard boiled egg, spoonful of peanut butter, and salad weren’t making me feel better. I feel a tiny bit better now, but not much.

Remember my toe? It’s still healing. Since you all loved to see the picture of my pale blue and slightly swollen toe, I thought’ you’d really enjoy this.

There is a crack at the bottom of the black part, and once in awhile dried blood flakes out of it. I can’t wait until it grows out more and I can pick the whole black part off. I know, I’m gross. My own injuries fascinate me. Deal with it.

Google Reader it is. Thanks for the advice, everyone. I already have the Google toolbar, so this makes it easy, and all the blogs I love to read are there. It’s made my blog reading so much quicker now that I don’t have to go to my own blog and click on all the links in my blogroll. There are only 3 blogs (indicated in my blogroll by a *) that don’t have feeds (Mist1, I’m talking to you!) so I still need to remember to come here and actually read them the old-fashioned way.

I’m still contemplating a complete move over to Google, including my main email address. That will take a bit more time to think over, because I’ve had my current email for about 8 years now, so old habits die hard. Like I said, still looking into that.

Last night Boyfriend and a bunch of our friends went to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’ve seen the movie, but never seen it live, so it was quite the experience. It wasn’t at all what I expected, either. The crowd was way rowdier than I thought they’d be, and since the venue doesn’t allow the audience to bring in props, they sell their own weenie-bag of props for $1. The bag included a piece of newspaper, a few sheets of toilet paper, 3 playing cards, a party hat and noisemaker. No toast, no rice, no squirtguns, none of the good stuff.

The rest of this week has been fairly uneventful. The remodel continues in my department at work, though my cube is done and I have settled in. The heat continues to wear me down, even though I don’t spend much time in it. Twice this week I’ve come home from work and taken very long naps. That totally screws up my routine, so I can’t do that anymore. Ah, and yes, I’m sure you want an update on the whole leaky sink issue. The sink is fixed and doesn’t leak, even though the ill-fitting drain assembly looks like shit. The cabinet, on the other hand - well, the cabinet directly under the sink was “fixed” by maintenance laying down a new layer of thin parquet to cover up the damage. It’s still warped, and the mold is still there, just covered up. Absolutely no attention was taken with the cabinet directly next to the sink that was also affected, so this is still unusable. We’re gonna go talk to them to see what they want to do about this. Should I mention that we’ve both been feeling a bit stuffy and congested the past few days?

So that’s about that for now. Today we’ll try to see the new Harry Potter movie with some friends. I’m not that huge a Potter fan, I’ve never read a single one of the books, but I’ve seen the movies thus far, thanks to my wonderful Boyfriend. So that’s the goal for today: Harry Potter, don’t forget to eat due to our lazy asses around the house this afternoon or our busy schedules later, and try to get to bed at a halfway decent hour so we don’t start the week in a major sleep deprived state.

I signed up for a gmail account, just to have a second email since I no longer have an account through the cable company, and Blogger went and switched my login name. No biggie, but it seems that the Google empire wants you to have everything with them. At least they make it easy and convenient and not a major pita.

I got a reply from my mom to my my previous post. I haven’t posted her comment yet, and I’m not sure if I will. I did email her, and it’s just something we have to work out. So enough on that.

Boyfriend and I went to IKEA yesterday. I’m still a bit peeved that they currently have no intention on building one here in Las Vegas, so we made the 4 hour (each way) trek to SoCal. We bought three bookcases, two CD racks to flank the fireplace (which currently is a featureless hole in the wall), a shelf to act as a mantle over the fireplace, and two ice cube molds. All the big stuff was either black or black-brown, and it all fit in my tiny Ford Focus hatchback. After a somewhat cramped ride home, we got right to work putting it all together. The place is really coming together now that there’s somewhere to put everything. Tomorrow I’ll drive a truckload of stuff over to the charity shop so we can get it away from us.

My back has been really hurting me the past few days. Friday was the worst. It seems ok as long as I’m not moving around and I can sit on a comfortable, supportive seat and in an upright position. It seems to be getting a bit better, but now the muscles are stiff too. Hopefully it will be better really soon, because I hate not having my normal range of motion and ability to move and do stuff.

Ah well. Tomorrow it’s back to job hunting, unpacking, and organizing all the shiznit I have, and trust me, I’m still frustrated with it all.

I am overweight. There, I said it. I’ve briefly mentioned in the past about my weight, but it’s gotten to a point that I’m really not happy. Here’s a brief synopsis, with (gulp!) numbers:

As a kid I was never very athletic. Was the only one in my class who could not run the 50 yard dash in under 10 seconds. As a result, I’ve always had a bit of a gut, some belly fat. As I grew, I watched the numbers climb - mostly size numbers. I rarely kept track of my weight. In high school, I outgrew a size 9 my freshman year and remained a size 11 all throughout, until I hit college, then went up to a size 13/14. Wore a size 14 for awhile, sometime in my mid-20’s I went up to a 16 and stayed there. I remember when I was at my heaviest (at the time), the winter before I decided to sell my condo and move to Las Vegas, I weighed close to 180lbs. Then I moved here. One of the first things I did was sign up at Curves, first weighing in at 169lbs. I liked it there, and got down to about 155lbs and was wearing anywhere between a size 12 and 14. But then life got in the way. Working 2 jobs didn’t leave me much time to work out or eat a proper meal, and a bout of depression made me seek out antidepressants, which unknown to me at the time, brought what little metabolism I had to a screeching halt.

That brings us to today. I weigh, according to my scale this morning, 200lbs. Yes, I have hit the 2x mark. I’m wearing a size 18 pants and because I am well endowed, either a 1x or 2x top. I have very few clothes that fit anymore because let’s face it, it is very depressing to go shopping for clothes when you’re buying fat clothes. I have a closet full of 12/14 clothes that I can’t wear and I absolutely loved shopping for. Regarding the antidepressants, I am weaning myself off of them. I have a schedule to gradually reduce the dose so the side effects of withdrawal will be as minimal as possible. I’ve only noticed physical effects of withdrawal, so I know I will be just fine once I’m off for good. I signed back up at Curves, but am always making excuses as to why I can’t go (last week it was clogged sinuses and PMS making my ta-ta’s hurt). I hate looking in the mirror or getting dressed in the morning.

So, I really have to start making an effort. I have no one at my house to nudge me along, to pester me when I eat too much for dinner (pasta again!), to get me moving. Self motivation was never a strong point for me. Curves is right next door to my office. That in itself should be enough to get me to go. I’m gonna go today, I have to. I do eat out with friends a lot, but I need to look to healthier choices when we’re out. With the weather getting warmer, that shouldn’t be too difficult. I did sign up for SparkPeople, but the only thing about that is that I need to do, not surf. I can read about it all I want, but reading doesn’t burn calories.

I need encouragement. I need something that will fit in with my lifestyle, which is always on the go and always on a budget. I don’t have much time for grocery shopping, and I hate grocery shopping anyway (working in a supermarket for 10 years will do that to you). I’m posting a weight loss ticker at the top of my page here, hopefully seeing that will encourage me. It will more likely depress me until I see it start to move, but I need to do something. I need to lose weight.

Yes, my friends, it is that time of year. I thought I could avoid it, somehow, but no, nature had other plans. The winds that we’ve had this week have forced pollen spores into every crevice of my body, along with dust and other particulate matter that I’d rather not think about. I thought I’d be fine, but yesterday the pressure started. Just one side, but I sure was sneezing a lot. I’m still sneezing, my left sinus in my cheek is painful at best, and I can’t see straight. It doesn’t help that it hurts to wear my glasses right now. I’ve taken the allergy meds, and though they keep my nose from running a marathon (thus saving me money in tissues), it does nothing to help the pressure or my vision. Right now, the main pollen in the air is the mulberry tree. Where the heck in the desert are the mulberry trees? I can’t recall seeing any here. I know that soon the olive trees will be blooming, but for some reason the thick coating of yellow pollen they leave all over the city doesn’t bother me as much. Whoever said that moving to the desert was good for allergies had no idea what they were talking about.

Weather map courtesy The Weather Channel

So far I’ve worked out at Curves exactly twice. Sometimes I am doing things right after work (like going to dinner with friends) and I don’t want to be all sweaty. But the rest of the time, I’m just tired. Take yesterday for example. I got ready to work out, changed into my sweats, then got in the car and went home. I was exhausted. All this week I’ve been tired and going to sleep way earlier than usual. At this rate, I’ll get down to my goal weight in about 5 years - maybe. That’s just with exercise. I need to change the diet part of it too. My current diet, while not terrible, still falls under the “could do better” category. Last night I dusted off my South Beach diet book and had a flip through. I have to go shopping this weekend, so I think I’ll start that up again. It’s so hard when one falls off the wagon. Last time I was on SB, my roommate would complain a lot because the stuff I cooked had odor and it would wake her up. She insisted that if she cooked when I was asleep it would wake me up, but I’m not like that. I don’t have a freaky sense of smell like she does. If she dropped all the baking dishes and pots and pans, then I’d probably wake up, but a smell won’t do it. Anyhoo, it’s a moot point now. Like I care if my yummy cooking smells wake up the neighbors. As long as I know that I’m eating healthier, then I’ll feel better. Everyone else be damned if they don’t like the steps I’m taking to better my health.

I finally decided to get back on the fitness bandwagon. I have gained entirely too much weight over this past year, and it’s time to get rid of it. None of my clothes fit, I get bummed out just looking in my closet, and I feel like crap. So, I decided to go back to Curves. I used to work out there a couple of years ago, and I loved it. But then life got in the way, I was working 2 jobs, yada yada yada, and I stopped going. Then, I joined a regular gym with a couple of co-workers but I hated it. Now, at my new job, there is a Curves right next door, and they were having a great sign-up special, so the price was right.

I did my first workout in a long time last night. I made it through, got my heart rate up (which happened as soon as I saw the number on that lying sack of shit they like to call a scale) and had a decent workout. When I was stretching I realized that I am so not as limber as I used to be. I know I don’t look it, but I weigh way too much. I keep hearing that I carry the weight well. I don’t want to carry the weight at all! I don’t have a goal weight in mind, but I would like to fit in the clothes that I have in my closet. So, workouts it is, 3x a week or more, and very soon my diet will follow. Last time I was working out regularly my diet naturally gravitated towards healthier foods, so I’m not making too much effort there yet. One step at a time.

So last night I was doing a small bit of organizing before I went to bed, and I dropped something on my foot. It wasn’t heavy, but the corner hit my big toe right on the cuticle. Can we say OUCH! It’s not swollen, but it hurts like heck right now, and it is a bit difficult to walk without pain. I can’t wait to find out how much it hurts with shoes on. Joy.