Every now and then, I transform from the sweet, lovable person that I am into a total bitch. This seems to happen about, oh, once a month, and lasts nearly two weeks at a time. Yes, it’s what you’re thinking. I was complaining about my period and the hormonal roller coaster more than two years ago. Since then, it’s not gotten any better. It’s gotten worse, actually. So much so that it threatens to ruin the one thing I value most – my marriage. I don’t have run of the mill PMS. I have PMDD, which is an extreme form of PMS.
I was on the pill for awhile, thinking that it would help. There’s one pill that claims to help this sort of thing, so I took it for about a year. It seemed to help at first, but then again, I did start taking it a few weeks before my wedding. I think it was more the whole newly wedded bliss than the pill helping. Plus, I’m over 35 now, and have a family history of breast cancer, so I don’t want to subject myself to any more health issues than I have to. Out with the Pill.
I tried taking vitamins – a cocktail including a daily multi, magnesium, and calcium. I hate taking so many freaking pills. I wish I could just order up ONE pill that has everything I want in it, and nothing I don’t want, but I haven’t found it yet. Besides, have you seen how BIG vitamins are? I’m talking horse pills here. Between the size and sheer quantity of pills involved in a vitamin regimen, suck at taking them, even if they take the edge off a bit.
You might remember that a few years ago I was taking Paxil for a bunch of crap and thought I needed something. I didn’t want that particular pill, but the doctor gave it to me anyway. I gained 40lbs before I was finally able to get myself off it, and stopped gaining weight when I stopped taking it for good. My doctor said the weight gain was unrelated. I have a new doctor now.
Since Mister and I got into another fight the other night in which one of our dishes lost its life, we talked about it again. Mister is not a huge fan of mental health medications, and after my experience with Paxil, neither am I, but we both agreed that I need to do something. I don’t like the split personality. I did some research, talked to some online friends, and decided on Zoloft. I would have preferred Lexapro, since it looks like it would fit a lot better, but my insurance company doesn’t prefer it, so the final decision came down to what my wallet said.
Mister came to the doctor with me – they really like him there, and I get better care when he’s with me. It really helps having an advocate if you have a hard time talking to doctors. My back had been hurting for about a week, which was the main purpose of the visit, so I got something for that, but we also talked about my PMDD. The doctor took me seriously, validated my concerns about Paxil and hormones, and wrote me a script for the Zoloft. I started taking it yesterday, but won’t know its full effect for a few months. Sometimes I’ll have a good month or two after a particularly bad month.
Part of me feels like a failure for having to take a pill to manage my natural cycle. The other part of me feels hopeful that this will really help. I’m sick of being two totally different people depending on where in my cycle I’m at. I may be a Gemini, but I don’t want to be Jekyll and Hyde.
I wish you all the best. And you are still grace under fire in my eyes.
Thanks, kaila.
You may want to try Celexa. It is the previous generation of Lexapro -wonderful and available in generic.
Thanks for the concern, Azadeh, but I’ve done my research and am hopeful that the Lexapr0 will work. Ce1exa is not an option for me as I am wary of the side effects and it is also contraindcated with Prilosec (omeprazole), which I also take for GERD.
Good luck with your new med. There is the alternative of getting pregnant which sometimes clears things up…..!
As you get older the number of pills seems to increase exponentially. At 63 I need to keep track via one of those weekly pill containers. Uncle Brad and I load the containers up on Monday mornings at breakfast. Nice ritual, huh?!
Brad left yesterday on vacation. Flying non-stop to Hong Kong for a few days there. Then the train to Beijing. A few days and he meets up with a small group that tours Beijing 2 nights. Then he gets on the Trans-Siberian Express, going thru China, Mongolia and Russia and will spend time in the following cities: Ulaanbaatar, Irkutsk, Novosibirsk, Ulan Ude, Kazan and in Moscow. He’ll be back August 5. I have the house and birds to myself and can do what I want when I want. Whoopee!
Your Mom comes for her High School reunion next weekend. Pray for me. jp
Thanks, Aunt J! Thought I’m not sure my sanity will survive the hormonal roller coaster of getting knocked up.
Between the husband and myself, the number of pills is already starting to increase. Good thing the pharmacy is right next door to us, though I think I’d like to get them on a schedule where we can refill them all at the same time.
I hope both you and Brad enjoy your vacations, and I look forward to hearing all about Brad’s trip. Perhaps you guys can start a blog to share all your wonderful travel experiences (hint, hint). And good luck with my Mom!
Hey, Kid!! I hope the Zoloft goes well for you. My first hand experience when you went off the Paxil was no picnic in the park so I hope and pray this works better. The only other pills I would advise taking would be the calcium. If you can find a cheaper one like Nature’s Made that also has Vitamin D3 that would be good. I hate taking pills, too but as Aunt J said, it seems to come with age. I found also that One A Day Women’s over 50 has all the stuff you need (including calcium) but I would take that plus the calcium & D3. I don’t have to remind you of the osteoporosis that runs in the family. You don’t have to be over 50 and now would be a good time to start. I was told not to take 2 calcium pills together so one in the a.m. and one after supper.
Reunion and my stay with Aunt J went very well. Me & Aunt J also met Betty and Marty for lunch which was awesome. Marty is a great guy and Betty seems very happy. He wants her to get a passport!!! I hope she does.
Lots of lovies,
Mommy
Mom, the worst part of coming off Paxil was the brain zaps and major lack of concentration, and the worst part of being on it was the weight gain. So far the Z is going better.
As for the vitamins, it’s not just the number of pills but the size of those suckers that gets me. My stomach doesn’t always like the big ones. Maybe I should look into chewables…