It’s a very busy time at work right now. Deadlines loom, and we need to make sure all our i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed. It’s a bit stressful, to say the least.

Add to that a raging case of PMS. Oh yeah. Now we’re having some FUN!

Around lunchtime today, I decided that I could take it no longer. I needed caffeine, and as a non-coffee drinker, that meant soda. Diet soda is my preference, since I’d rather get all my fat and calories from solid food. I gathered up some change and went downstairs to the break room, found the pretty red vending machine, and fed it some quarters.

This is one of those fancy, new-fangled machines that brings a little conveyor belt up to the row your selection is at and lets it go on a gentle ride towards the exit. It’s pretty cool because it doesn’t come tumbling down through the entire machine like the marble on a game of Mouse Trap, only to let it explode all over you.

I made my selection – B1. The soda can leaned forward, hit the glass with a thud, and wedged itself there. The conveyor belt tried and tried to grab the can, but it was useless. It gave up and spit my money back out at me. I wasn’t worried since this has happened before. I fed my money in again, selected B1, and was told it was sold out. I tried B2, figuring that it would knock the other can loose and I’d get 2 for the price of 1.

No dice.

The second can did exactly the same thing. Now I was getting upset. Was this some sort of conspiracy? Why are there two cans of soda, leaning against the glass, teasing me like that? I banged on the glass a bit. A few other people banged on the glass. They wouldn’t budge.

I went around the corner to the security desk and told them what the issue was. They don’t keep keys to the machine and could only put in a service ticket, and told me not to bang on it. Apparently someone did that a bit too hard once and broke the glass. I work in finance, so I don’t want to be responsible for such an expensive accident.

I went back to the machine to see if there were any unblocked paths for my chosen chemical fizzy drink. One more shot, so I put my money in the machine, typed in B3, and finally, I got a soda. The other two just sat there. I looked at the machine and realized a bit too late that if someone got something from row A, it might knock the sodas out. I had spent my money by then, so I started asking people if they wanted to buy an orange juice. No takers. If I could have gotten those sodas out, I would have, but I decided that I wasn’t going to sell my sanity for two cans of soda, so I went upstairs and started foraging through my desk for any chocolate I could find. I needed ALL the chocolate.

As further proof that the vending machines, or universe, or something is conspiring against me today, I stopped at the store to replenish my chocolate supply. As I walked around trying to buy as many unhealthy goodies as possible, I encountered Real Margarine. I told my sister about this find (I was on the phone with her. Yes, I am that person.) and she said, “Real margarine? As opposed to what?” Looking at my basket o’ goodies, I thought this entire exchange was pretty funny.

When I got back to my car, I turned the key and they engine struggled a bit before finally turning over. Great, my battery is pretty much done. Didn’t need to be waiting outside in 108F heat with my newly purchased ice cream. But it did start, so I rushed home to put everything away (in the kitchen – I can’t eat that much that fast), let Mister know about the battery, and we went back out in the heat to buy a new one. Batteries don’t last long here in the desert.

Finally got home, again, locked the door, and tore into my junk food. I really, really needed it at this point.

Tomorrow’s forecast shows more of the same. I really hope it’s better. After all, tomorrow is Hump Day.