KirstenL4W

I’ve been a busy bee lately. I’ll be spending an obscene amount of time at work this week, but at least I will have Friday off due to the holiday. Because of the busy week coming up, I’ll be making a list of quick, easy to prepare meals for the week and doing my shopping today. I usually grocery shop on Mondays after work, but since I’m working something like 10 hours tomorrow, I’ll be too brain dead to think about cooking. Today I will be getting everything ready for Mister to throw some pea soup into the crock pot so that we can have a healthy and delicious meal ready when I come home. Tuesday we’re going to see Penn & Teller. We were supposed to go last week, but Mister wasn’t feeling very well so I was able to change the tickets. Thursday is another long day for me at work - I’ll either cook something in advance or think up something that only takes 5 minutes to make (panini sandwiches, maybe?)

I’ve been looking for the right things to organize my desk at home. In true Gemini fashion, my desk at work is super organized, but my desk at home is super messy. Mister and I bought new desks when we bought the house, and I like them ok (kinda not my style) but they don’t have any drawers to put Stuff in. I bought some small drawer units to go on top of my desk, but they only fit small things in them. Last week when we were out shopping for a new chair for Mister, I saw a really pretty aqua file cart - it has one file drawer and one smaller drawer. And it’s aqua - my favorite color. Well, the display model was the last one they had at the store, and we were informed that we couldn’t have the floor model, and that they were on backorder and the store was not allowed to order any more. Boo. Yesterday when I was out shopping I stopped by a different branch of this store, and they had my file cart. They also sold me the floor model since they knew it was the last one and they weren’t getting any more in. And they told me that the other store sucks. I’ll be working on the desk mostly next weekend, when I have a 3 day weekend, and I’ll post before and after pics when I’m done.

I weighed in at WW the other day. I’m starting to get fed up with it. I don’t even really know why I signed up for it again. I HATE tracking points - hate it. So I don’t. But I also know where my comfort zone is, and even though I don’t write that crap down, I have a pretty good idea of where I’m at for the day points-wise. But my weight was up for the week. I’m almost ready to stop going. I didn’t get so heavy because of what I eat. I got this way because I took Paxil - my weight started going up very fast when I was on it, and it stopped going up when I stopped taking it. That’s it. So why am I focusing on what I eat to make me lose the weight? It’s not working. It’s not going to work. I cook at home and try to eat as many unprocessed foods as possible. I eat far more fruits and veggies than I used to, and far less junk. I don’t eat to where I’m full; I eat to where I’ve had enough. The magnesium supplement I take has pretty much killed my cravings for sweets. So how is tracking points and shit supposed to help me? It won’t. If it was going to, the changes that I’ve been making over the past year or so would have done more, but I’ve only lost about 5-7lbs through those changes alone. I need to try something else. Yes, exercise. I keep intending to do that more, because I know it will produce results, but by the time I get home from work I am so done for the day that it’s all I can do to cook dinner, and the only reason I do that is because I’m hungry. I’m just tired of the anal-retentive approach to what I’m eating that WW takes because it’s really not helping me.

Ok, enough of the rant. I think I’ll go make some eggs for breakfast and get on with my day.

Mister and I are celebrating our first wedding anniversary today! Woo hoo! One year ago today, we got married. Since then, there’s been a lot of stuff that would tear lesser people apart, but I think we’re closer today than we’ve ever been. I’m just amazed at how much more I fall in love with him every day.

We’ve been having a big celebration amongst ourselves to mark the occasion. Friday night, we exchanged gifts and cards. The traditional first anniversary gift is supposed to be paper. I got Mister some paper - tickets to see Penn & Teller on Tuesday night. He got me a replacement for paper - a new ginormous computer monitor. He has a huge one, and just got himself a bigger one that has the sharpest display I’ve ever seen. So rather than watch me “deal with” his hand-me-down, he got me the same model. Mister also ordered a single tier version of our wedding cake, but instead of the white fondant with the black design sprayed on, it has a chocolate ganache with the design piped on in white frosting. Here’s a picture:

Isn’t it purdy? It’s the same inside as our wedding cake, which was red velvet. Of course it’s not good for the diet, but this is a very special occasion. Except for the cake, I’ve been trying really hard to make good food choices this weekend. For example, yesterday we went to Don Antonio’s for a late lunch/early dinner as part of our celebration. That’s the same restaurant we had our reception at. Instead of my usual heavy fettuccine alfredo that I like to get, I got the Don Veggie Pasta, which is fettuccine sauteed in garlic and olive oil, with some chicken broth for added flavor and less fat. It has broccoli and spinach in it, and I also got it with shrimp for some added protein. And we skipped dessert since we were both pretty full and had cake at home.

So there you have the extended anniversary celebrations. I love being married so much more than I ever thought I would. I am married to a man who understands me better than I do, and he really is my bestest friend in the whole wide world. I love you, MisterL4W!

It’s official. I have no willpower. I was all set to get back on track today, packing low-fat yogurt, strawberries and grilled chicken breast for my lunch, when a vendor brought us cupcakes. Who can resist those? They’ve got to be 10pts each. But I had one. And they came right after I finished my mid-morning snack, so I wasn’t even hungry. But I had one.

Already this week we’ve had a birthday potluck at work. Now this. Oh, and I should mention that last night I had Kraft Mac&Cheese for dinner. That used to be one of my favorite things to eat. But not anymore. I wasn’t totally turned off by it, but I didn’t finish it either. The blue box has lost its luster for me. I think that if I am craving mac and cheese in the future, I’ll be making it myself. It’s just as easy to whip up with some whole wheat pasta and shredded cheese. And it’s a whole lot tastier, not to mention healthier. Now, I’m not going to say never, but I don’t think I’ll be going for the blue box again.

It’s funny what happens when you start eating healthier. As you put better foods - fresh stuff prepared at home - into your body, you get used to it. Your tummy and the rest of your body thanks you. Then when you put processed crap in, after you’ve gotten used to the healthy stuff, your body reacts in a bad way. It starts groaning, “Why did you do that to me? Why?” And you have to answer it, “Because I remembered how muchs I used to like the crap and my eyes and mind haven’t figured out that I really shouldn’t have it anymore.” My body knows what it wants and needs. Now I just need to tell my head that.

Still to work on: willpower. And exercise. Falling far short in both those areas.

I think I blew it this week. We had yet another potluck for a birthday at work (and another one next week). The food was just so good that I couldn’t resist. Well, I probably could have resisted the pastries. But the strawberries did it for me. Strawberries dipped in sour cream - trust me on this - then dipped in a brown sugar and cinnamon mix. It was heaven. At least that was the bulk of my overindulgence. Other than that, and Fritos cravings (very unusual for me to crave crunchy salty snacks), I think I’ve been doing ok. I’ll tell you one thing - once your body gets used to healthier foods it starts to reject the crap. I had my first afternoon slump in ages today, and even though it’s 8:30pm, I’m still feeling the slump. But I would not be me if I didn’t push myself to stay caught up on the blogosphere, despite my need to zone out in front of the television.

So as I was going through my reader tonite, I came across a post on TwiTip about making your tweets worth following. I read the article when it came out a few weeks ago, but for some reason it didn’t really stick then. Reading it again tonite, I took note of who the guest poster was. Summer Tomato was the home blog of the author, and it was mentioned that it was a blog about healthy eating. Hey, I’m trying to do that more and more! Maybe I’ll check this place out. Turns out, Summer Tomato is a treasure trove of good, common sense healthy eating facts. What’s preached on the blog is very similar to the healthy eating habits that WW teaches, but it goes further by endorsing fresh, local, non-processed foods as well. WW falls short there, because they have their own line of processed foods. I’m still looking around on Summer Tomato and I’m really liking what I see there. There’s no quack advice, as far as I can tell. Like I said, it’s all common sense stuff on there, and that’s what I like best about it.

If you get a chance, head over to Summer Tomato for some sensible talk about healthy eating.

So tomorrow at work, I weigh in at WW after my first week on it. It’s been a crappy week, food-wise. The cheap bastard frugal Yankee inside me didn’t want to waste any of the ice cream cake I got for my birthday, so I was eating a bit of that every night (Mister helped). Then, as I counted points earlier this week, paying attention to filling foods and not eating any crap (except the cake), I noticed that despite eating what I ought to be eating, I was not satisfied. I had a gnawing hunger inside me. I looked over my food diary and it hit me - in my quest to eat “good” foods, I had been largely ignoring carbs. I had inadvertently put myself on a South Beach style diet. No wonder I was going crazy. To rectify that, last night I had a big bowl of spaghetti. Today I had a Lean Cuisine meal that had noodles in it, and I had some cheese and whole wheat crackers for a snack. Oh, and I didn’t write down a single thing that I ate. I feel better having had some carbs. Oh, and the ice cream cake is gone. That vanished during the night.

WW programs apparently get tweaked from time to time. When I did this about 18 months ago, they had 2 choices - the regular points system, or the core system. Everyone gets the basic idea of points, so I’ll skip over that. The core program gave you an extensive list of healthy foods to eat, and you were not restricted from eating any of them or any quantity of them. Just eat until you are satisfied - know your comfort zone. The foods on the list were designed to help you feel full and get the most bang for your buck as far as being nutritious and filling ur belleh.

Today, the core program is gone. The WW program is now known as the Momentum program. Points are back for everyone, and a lot of former core foods are now known as filling foods and highlighted in the booklet. But you gotta keep track of your points. When I signed up this time, I did it with the intention that I’d do the core program this time. I found that last time I’d keep up the motivation to track points for about a week or 2, then fall off. With core, I’d have a list of good foods to eat and that’s it. The list wasn’t restrictive at all, unless you insist on living on a diet of fast food and junk food. I knew I could do it with the guidance of the core program.

I am so over counting points.

I’ll still attend the WW meetings at work, since I paid for it. But I’m already aware of what I put in my mouth, and I make a decent effort at eating healthy as it is. The place I need to make more of an effort is planning and shopping. I need to have enough of a plan so I don’t make bad choices at the supermarket. And I need to plan well enough ahead so that I bring my lunch to work instead of going out all the time (that second one saves $$$ too). Buy healthy snacks for work, which is my downfall, and have plenty of healthy stuff at home. Just tell me what those healthy foods are so I don’t go nuts. Give me the alternatives so that I can satisfy my cravings without major sabotage. Don’t make me count points. I don’t mind writing down what I eat, but I don’t want to do the math. It takes up too much of my precious time. While I understand the reasoning behind keeping a food diary - to make you more aware of what goes in your mouth - I think that once someone has a decent grasp of what’s good and what isn’t, counting points/calories/whatever can be counter intuitive by focusing too much on food. Food should be a healthy habit, not a point counting OCD nightmare.

I have to admit that even my chocolate cravings have waned quite a bit. Did you know that I have a bunch of chocolate here on my desk at home that has been pretty much untouched since I got it at Christmas? I’m not talking about the super yucky chocolate or something coffee flavored that I don’t like. This is the big H - Hershey’s. I love Hershey’s chocolate. I love it so much that I look at it every day. If it were in my desk at work, it would not have made it to see 2009. I obviously have the willpower to resist. Plus I find a nice glass of chocolate milk (lactose-free skim) does so much more for me than a candy bar or brownie. And honestly, I think the vitamin regimen is helping too. I recently started a daily cocktail of calcium, magnesium and a daily multi, and I really think it’s helping. Put it this way: I have PMS right now, but you’d never know it by my cravings. How unbelievable is that?

So like I said, I’ll continue the WW at work, at least for this 10-session period. But what I really need is to take all the information I have and come up with a healthy way of eating and living that works for me. I’m tired of being overweight, and tired of counting points. I think there’s enough good information in my arsenal to start forming healthier habits. I’m determined to do this!