My sister, being blonde, is often the butt of many blonde jokes. But we don’t tell these jokes or make fun of her just because she’s blonde. Oh no. Very often, all she has to do is open her mouth and she walks into it every time.
A few years ago, a friend of mine was visiting me from Toronto. We had been to The World’s Biggest Bookstore when I was there (the same bookstore from the movie Short Circuit 2) and I was eager to take him to Barnes & Noble, which had recently opened in my area. My friend had also told me that I shouldn’t make so much fun of my sister, because she probably doesn’t deserve it and I was being hard on her just because we’re related. I tried to tell him, no, you don’t understand, she really IS like that. But he wouldn’t hear of it.
We went to B&N, sat in the comfy chairs and got a snack in the cafe. When we returned to my house, my sister was there, eager to make friendly and intelligent conversation. Here’s how it went down:
Sis (upon seeing the B&N bags): What did you buy?
Sis: What kind of books?
Me (trying to get rid of her): The kind you read.
Now, I think the next question she asked was meant to try and have an intelligent conversation about the subject matter of the newly purchased books. But the way it came out killed all chances at a conversation along with anyone’s misconception that my sister is intelligent.
Sis: But what’s, like, the meaning of books?
My friend ran up the stairs laughing so hard that he was going to pee his pants. I know, because I heard the bathroom door slam. I just stared at my sister with a blank yet disbelieving look on my face. She didn’t understand our reactions, and there was no way I could explain it to her.
To be fair, my sister isn’t dumb. She is capable of learning and can cook a chicken much better than I can. This phase she was going through, being socially incapable of intelligent conversation, lasted until she was about 30, but she’s over it now. Mostly.