KirstenL4W

Valentine’s Day is coming up. Having been single for pretty much every Valentine’s Day until now, I’ve come to expect absolutely nothing on this day. It is a day full of expectations - more so than any other day. We expect that it will be the most romantic day of the year. We expect “romantic” gifts from our partners - flowers, a fancy dinner (usually at a fancy restaurant), candy, jewelry, lingerie, and of course a big fancy card gushing with romantic sentiments. Anything red or pink does the trick if you are a gift buying dunce. Personally, pink is so not my color.

I suppose my single status for so long has jaded me. I just can’t get into it. Not only is there the expectation of gifts, this holiday tells you how you are supposed to feel and express those feelings. See, I don’t like being told how to feel or what to say. Of course, I do love Boyfriend. I just don’t like a card company telling me how I have to express that. I want to express it in my own way. I don’t want to make him take me out to eat. (The owner of a restaurant we frequent calls Valentine’s Day “Amateur Night”) I don’t want him to feel that I love him any less, or that I feel he doesn’t love me enough, if he doesn’t go all out with the aforementioned dinner, flowers, chocolates, etc. You just can’t manufacture romance like that and save it all up for one big night of showmanship.

I was telling Boyfriend earlier this evening about one of the most romantic things I’ve seen. I was over my aunt and uncle’s house, and my aunt had gone up the street to fetch one of my cousins. While she was gone, my uncle carried on with some housekeeping. My aunt returned to find that my uncle had emptied the dishwasher, putting away all the clean dishes. My aunt was ecstatic! That is one of her least favorite chores to do, and seeing that my uncle had done that for her totally made her day. She threw her arms around him and showered him with hugs and kisses, thanking him profusely for doing this mundane chore. That, to me, is romantic. Romance is the little things that all add up to reaffirm and strengthen the love two people have for each other.

To the casual observer, it might seem that Boyfriend and I live a very boring life. I won’t kid you, it’s not one exciting adventure after another. We have jobs to go to and other obligations that keep life so very ordinary. But there are things that we do that I’d consider romantic. Take right now, for example. I am on the sofa, feet up, laptop in my lap, tv on, blogging while Boyfriend is sitting at his desk playing WOW. He has his headset on so he can chat with the guild and listen to their inane conversations. Yet every 10 minutes or so, he will take the time to look over, exchange our silly little greeting, and tell me that he loves me. Sometimes he even starts making kissy faces at me so that I have to get up, go over to him, and kiss him. It’s not a chore, so don’t read that as if it were. It keeps us connected while we are each in our own little virtual world. And he NEVER minds it if I come up to him out of the blue and throw my arms around him. That’s romantic. I don’t need all the fancy stuff - flowers die, chocolate makes me fat, restaurants are crowded and service sucks on that day, cards get forgotten, and lingerie doesn’t matter because it just gets ripped off. Save the money and show me you love me in your own unique way. But don’t worry. I won’t be a total cynic and blow the holiday off completely.

Enjoy your Valentine’s Day, and this classic sonnet from Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, — I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! — and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Comments RSS