Is anyone here lactose intolerant? I am. I don’t have to religiously read the ingredients on food packages, and there are dairy products that I can have without much issue. But sometimes the rules decide to change themselves on me.
I don’t care to drink plain milk, but I make pudding and chocolate milk with Lactaid, which tastes the same as milk. I’ve never had a problem with my favorite ice cream, and I love cheese, especially a nice sharp, hard cheese. I don’t have issues with these things. I do avoid creamy dishes, though because of the cheese I’m OK with alfredo. I avoid all ice cream products from Sonic, which I learned the hard way. Even real whipped cream has been known to mark its territory. Italian food, which is often times smothered in mozzarella cheese, has never bothered me. Until last night.
Boyfriend and I were out for our weekly oil change last night. Our regular Greasy Spoon very suddenly shut its doors this week, leaving us in the lurch. We quickly came up with a new place to meet, which is a place that we’ve been to a couple times before. I ordered the chicken parm sandwich, which was delish. I didn’t notice until later, but there was an awful lot of cheese on it.
If any of you do have an intolerance to lactose, or know someone who has suffered the consequences of dairy goodness, then you know what the results are. First comes the bloating. Then the gas. I actually felt the gas churning up in my lower intestine. Within minutes, I was running to the bathroom for the deluge. Let’s just say that it was really not pleasant. Nor was it pleasant the second time I went, which was only a few minutes later. Luckily, I had some Immodium on me and was able to take enough of it to stop the madness.
But that’s not all! With this up close and personal post you also get … ROIDS!
That’s right, folks! After the fun I had on the barroom toilet last night, I had a lovely reminder of my misery this morning in the form of an uncomfortable, blueberry sized lump right at the entrance to my anoos. All I can say is at least this time (Yes, it’s happened before) – this time it doesn’t feel like serrated knives.
I couldn’t think about anything else to blog about this evening. Tomorrow we return to your regularly scheduled programming.
Other Posts Like Me:
- The Most Perfect Junk Food Ever
- The Florida Report
- Jekyll and Hyde
- What I Learned on the Paleo Diet
- Outbreak
Oof. Owie!
Oh yeah. Not the worst incidence of lactose intolerance I’ve ever had, and like I said, not the worst case of the piles that I’ve had. But still not fun.
OMG. . .I so feel for you, this is pretty weird.
You know “Along came Polly”. . .that’s me. Only it’s with lactose. The thing is, (my friend and I were just talking about this at lunch, that’s what makes me find your post weird), I do not have the will power to stay away, regardless of the reprocussions. My friend is the same, although she has much more resolve, and carries a little bottle of soy milk around with her.
She said, Lisa, you look so thin today, especially since you have been eating so much cheese cake.
I told her that it’s the lactose intolerance, since I get the skitters, I just bypass the middleman, and I don’t gain any weight from my cheese cake addiction.
It does suck though, especially if you are in public and you injest something that you didn’t realize. And the after effects. . .ouch. Do some inversions (yoga), it helps, like a shoulder stand or plow.
Hm, I’ll have to consider it – The Lactose Intolerance Diet. I’d better buy stock in Immodium first.
Oh ouch. I’m lactose intolerant too, so I feel your pain, though I don’t have the same reaction – I just bloat and can’t breathe if I down more than a tablespoon or so of milk (not that I measure it that way, but that’s about as much as one would put in tea, isn’t it?). Not good when you love milk as much as I do, but I’ve found good a good soy substitute (some brands are truly awful though – I never thought of green as a flavor before).
I did make a wonderful discovery in the supermarket aisle the other day though: lactose-free cream. *happy dance*
Soy never did anything for me. But lactose free CREAM!?! I wish they would have that wonderful variety of groceries here in Vegas. Coming from the Northeast and having worked in a supermarket there, I really do not like the selection or even food shopping here. I miss my old store.