KirstenL4W

The job thing is looking up. It seems that one of the agencies I signed up with may come through with something, which would be great. I’ve been bored silly this week, and I’m tired of not having any money.

I also got my birthday present from my mom today, and it just brought about a whole flood of feelings that really bothered me. Mom, I know you read my blog for “clues” but you really don’t have a clue about me. You don’t ask, either, but I’ll tell you this, the clues you are looking for won’t be found here. I’m tired of you projecting on to me what you want me to be. I’m not a little girl anymore. I do still go to church, but very infrequently lately because I have questions about whether or not it’s meeting my spiritual needs. Just leave me be in that regard to figure it out on my own, because if I feel any pressure I’ll just want to reject it as being not MY choice.

Ask me about ME and get to know ME, Mom. I know you aren’t pleased with the choices I’ve made lately, but honestly, it’s a relief to know that I have finally found a group of people that I am free to be myself around. Yeah, that scares you, it’s not something you understand at all but sticking your fingers in your ears and pretending it doesn’t exist is not the way to handle it either. Pretty much all my friends here are “good” friends, and they’re GOOD friends. People I can talk to when I need someone to talk to, people who I can have fun with when I want to have fun, and people I enjoy spending time with. I’m happy here, but I’m feeling that you’re ignoring a major part of who I am, and it’s not working for me.

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