KirstenL4W

I am overweight. There, I said it. I’ve briefly mentioned in the past about my weight, but it’s gotten to a point that I’m really not happy. Here’s a brief synopsis, with (gulp!) numbers:

As a kid I was never very athletic. Was the only one in my class who could not run the 50 yard dash in under 10 seconds. As a result, I’ve always had a bit of a gut, some belly fat. As I grew, I watched the numbers climb - mostly size numbers. I rarely kept track of my weight. In high school, I outgrew a size 9 my freshman year and remained a size 11 all throughout, until I hit college, then went up to a size 13/14. Wore a size 14 for awhile, sometime in my mid-20’s I went up to a 16 and stayed there. I remember when I was at my heaviest (at the time), the winter before I decided to sell my condo and move to Las Vegas, I weighed close to 180lbs. Then I moved here. One of the first things I did was sign up at Curves, first weighing in at 169lbs. I liked it there, and got down to about 155lbs and was wearing anywhere between a size 12 and 14. But then life got in the way. Working 2 jobs didn’t leave me much time to work out or eat a proper meal, and a bout of depression made me seek out antidepressants, which unknown to me at the time, brought what little metabolism I had to a screeching halt.

That brings us to today. I weigh, according to my scale this morning, 200lbs. Yes, I have hit the 2x mark. I’m wearing a size 18 pants and because I am well endowed, either a 1x or 2x top. I have very few clothes that fit anymore because let’s face it, it is very depressing to go shopping for clothes when you’re buying fat clothes. I have a closet full of 12/14 clothes that I can’t wear and I absolutely loved shopping for. Regarding the antidepressants, I am weaning myself off of them. I have a schedule to gradually reduce the dose so the side effects of withdrawal will be as minimal as possible. I’ve only noticed physical effects of withdrawal, so I know I will be just fine once I’m off for good. I signed back up at Curves, but am always making excuses as to why I can’t go (last week it was clogged sinuses and PMS making my ta-ta’s hurt). I hate looking in the mirror or getting dressed in the morning.

So, I really have to start making an effort. I have no one at my house to nudge me along, to pester me when I eat too much for dinner (pasta again!), to get me moving. Self motivation was never a strong point for me. Curves is right next door to my office. That in itself should be enough to get me to go. I’m gonna go today, I have to. I do eat out with friends a lot, but I need to look to healthier choices when we’re out. With the weather getting warmer, that shouldn’t be too difficult. I did sign up for SparkPeople, but the only thing about that is that I need to do, not surf. I can read about it all I want, but reading doesn’t burn calories.

I need encouragement. I need something that will fit in with my lifestyle, which is always on the go and always on a budget. I don’t have much time for grocery shopping, and I hate grocery shopping anyway (working in a supermarket for 10 years will do that to you). I’m posting a weight loss ticker at the top of my page here, hopefully seeing that will encourage me. It will more likely depress me until I see it start to move, but I need to do something. I need to lose weight.

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