KirstenL4W

I’ve been a busy bee lately. I’ll be spending an obscene amount of time at work this week, but at least I will have Friday off due to the holiday. Because of the busy week coming up, I’ll be making a list of quick, easy to prepare meals for the week and doing my shopping today. I usually grocery shop on Mondays after work, but since I’m working something like 10 hours tomorrow, I’ll be too brain dead to think about cooking. Today I will be getting everything ready for Mister to throw some pea soup into the crock pot so that we can have a healthy and delicious meal ready when I come home. Tuesday we’re going to see Penn & Teller. We were supposed to go last week, but Mister wasn’t feeling very well so I was able to change the tickets. Thursday is another long day for me at work - I’ll either cook something in advance or think up something that only takes 5 minutes to make (panini sandwiches, maybe?)

I’ve been looking for the right things to organize my desk at home. In true Gemini fashion, my desk at work is super organized, but my desk at home is super messy. Mister and I bought new desks when we bought the house, and I like them ok (kinda not my style) but they don’t have any drawers to put Stuff in. I bought some small drawer units to go on top of my desk, but they only fit small things in them. Last week when we were out shopping for a new chair for Mister, I saw a really pretty aqua file cart - it has one file drawer and one smaller drawer. And it’s aqua - my favorite color. Well, the display model was the last one they had at the store, and we were informed that we couldn’t have the floor model, and that they were on backorder and the store was not allowed to order any more. Boo. Yesterday when I was out shopping I stopped by a different branch of this store, and they had my file cart. They also sold me the floor model since they knew it was the last one and they weren’t getting any more in. And they told me that the other store sucks. I’ll be working on the desk mostly next weekend, when I have a 3 day weekend, and I’ll post before and after pics when I’m done.

I weighed in at WW the other day. I’m starting to get fed up with it. I don’t even really know why I signed up for it again. I HATE tracking points - hate it. So I don’t. But I also know where my comfort zone is, and even though I don’t write that crap down, I have a pretty good idea of where I’m at for the day points-wise. But my weight was up for the week. I’m almost ready to stop going. I didn’t get so heavy because of what I eat. I got this way because I took Paxil - my weight started going up very fast when I was on it, and it stopped going up when I stopped taking it. That’s it. So why am I focusing on what I eat to make me lose the weight? It’s not working. It’s not going to work. I cook at home and try to eat as many unprocessed foods as possible. I eat far more fruits and veggies than I used to, and far less junk. I don’t eat to where I’m full; I eat to where I’ve had enough. The magnesium supplement I take has pretty much killed my cravings for sweets. So how is tracking points and shit supposed to help me? It won’t. If it was going to, the changes that I’ve been making over the past year or so would have done more, but I’ve only lost about 5-7lbs through those changes alone. I need to try something else. Yes, exercise. I keep intending to do that more, because I know it will produce results, but by the time I get home from work I am so done for the day that it’s all I can do to cook dinner, and the only reason I do that is because I’m hungry. I’m just tired of the anal-retentive approach to what I’m eating that WW takes because it’s really not helping me.

Ok, enough of the rant. I think I’ll go make some eggs for breakfast and get on with my day.

Mister and I are celebrating our first wedding anniversary today! Woo hoo! One year ago today, we got married. Since then, there’s been a lot of stuff that would tear lesser people apart, but I think we’re closer today than we’ve ever been. I’m just amazed at how much more I fall in love with him every day.

We’ve been having a big celebration amongst ourselves to mark the occasion. Friday night, we exchanged gifts and cards. The traditional first anniversary gift is supposed to be paper. I got Mister some paper - tickets to see Penn & Teller on Tuesday night. He got me a replacement for paper - a new ginormous computer monitor. He has a huge one, and just got himself a bigger one that has the sharpest display I’ve ever seen. So rather than watch me “deal with” his hand-me-down, he got me the same model. Mister also ordered a single tier version of our wedding cake, but instead of the white fondant with the black design sprayed on, it has a chocolate ganache with the design piped on in white frosting. Here’s a picture:

Isn’t it purdy? It’s the same inside as our wedding cake, which was red velvet. Of course it’s not good for the diet, but this is a very special occasion. Except for the cake, I’ve been trying really hard to make good food choices this weekend. For example, yesterday we went to Don Antonio’s for a late lunch/early dinner as part of our celebration. That’s the same restaurant we had our reception at. Instead of my usual heavy fettuccine alfredo that I like to get, I got the Don Veggie Pasta, which is fettuccine sauteed in garlic and olive oil, with some chicken broth for added flavor and less fat. It has broccoli and spinach in it, and I also got it with shrimp for some added protein. And we skipped dessert since we were both pretty full and had cake at home.

So there you have the extended anniversary celebrations. I love being married so much more than I ever thought I would. I am married to a man who understands me better than I do, and he really is my bestest friend in the whole wide world. I love you, MisterL4W!

It’s official. I have no willpower. I was all set to get back on track today, packing low-fat yogurt, strawberries and grilled chicken breast for my lunch, when a vendor brought us cupcakes. Who can resist those? They’ve got to be 10pts each. But I had one. And they came right after I finished my mid-morning snack, so I wasn’t even hungry. But I had one.

Already this week we’ve had a birthday potluck at work. Now this. Oh, and I should mention that last night I had Kraft Mac&Cheese for dinner. That used to be one of my favorite things to eat. But not anymore. I wasn’t totally turned off by it, but I didn’t finish it either. The blue box has lost its luster for me. I think that if I am craving mac and cheese in the future, I’ll be making it myself. It’s just as easy to whip up with some whole wheat pasta and shredded cheese. And it’s a whole lot tastier, not to mention healthier. Now, I’m not going to say never, but I don’t think I’ll be going for the blue box again.

It’s funny what happens when you start eating healthier. As you put better foods - fresh stuff prepared at home - into your body, you get used to it. Your tummy and the rest of your body thanks you. Then when you put processed crap in, after you’ve gotten used to the healthy stuff, your body reacts in a bad way. It starts groaning, “Why did you do that to me? Why?” And you have to answer it, “Because I remembered how muchs I used to like the crap and my eyes and mind haven’t figured out that I really shouldn’t have it anymore.” My body knows what it wants and needs. Now I just need to tell my head that.

Still to work on: willpower. And exercise. Falling far short in both those areas.

I think I blew it this week. We had yet another potluck for a birthday at work (and another one next week). The food was just so good that I couldn’t resist. Well, I probably could have resisted the pastries. But the strawberries did it for me. Strawberries dipped in sour cream - trust me on this - then dipped in a brown sugar and cinnamon mix. It was heaven. At least that was the bulk of my overindulgence. Other than that, and Fritos cravings (very unusual for me to crave crunchy salty snacks), I think I’ve been doing ok. I’ll tell you one thing - once your body gets used to healthier foods it starts to reject the crap. I had my first afternoon slump in ages today, and even though it’s 8:30pm, I’m still feeling the slump. But I would not be me if I didn’t push myself to stay caught up on the blogosphere, despite my need to zone out in front of the television.

So as I was going through my reader tonite, I came across a post on TwiTip about making your tweets worth following. I read the article when it came out a few weeks ago, but for some reason it didn’t really stick then. Reading it again tonite, I took note of who the guest poster was. Summer Tomato was the home blog of the author, and it was mentioned that it was a blog about healthy eating. Hey, I’m trying to do that more and more! Maybe I’ll check this place out. Turns out, Summer Tomato is a treasure trove of good, common sense healthy eating facts. What’s preached on the blog is very similar to the healthy eating habits that WW teaches, but it goes further by endorsing fresh, local, non-processed foods as well. WW falls short there, because they have their own line of processed foods. I’m still looking around on Summer Tomato and I’m really liking what I see there. There’s no quack advice, as far as I can tell. Like I said, it’s all common sense stuff on there, and that’s what I like best about it.

If you get a chance, head over to Summer Tomato for some sensible talk about healthy eating.

So tomorrow at work, I weigh in at WW after my first week on it. It’s been a crappy week, food-wise. The cheap bastard frugal Yankee inside me didn’t want to waste any of the ice cream cake I got for my birthday, so I was eating a bit of that every night (Mister helped). Then, as I counted points earlier this week, paying attention to filling foods and not eating any crap (except the cake), I noticed that despite eating what I ought to be eating, I was not satisfied. I had a gnawing hunger inside me. I looked over my food diary and it hit me - in my quest to eat “good” foods, I had been largely ignoring carbs. I had inadvertently put myself on a South Beach style diet. No wonder I was going crazy. To rectify that, last night I had a big bowl of spaghetti. Today I had a Lean Cuisine meal that had noodles in it, and I had some cheese and whole wheat crackers for a snack. Oh, and I didn’t write down a single thing that I ate. I feel better having had some carbs. Oh, and the ice cream cake is gone. That vanished during the night.

WW programs apparently get tweaked from time to time. When I did this about 18 months ago, they had 2 choices - the regular points system, or the core system. Everyone gets the basic idea of points, so I’ll skip over that. The core program gave you an extensive list of healthy foods to eat, and you were not restricted from eating any of them or any quantity of them. Just eat until you are satisfied - know your comfort zone. The foods on the list were designed to help you feel full and get the most bang for your buck as far as being nutritious and filling ur belleh.

Today, the core program is gone. The WW program is now known as the Momentum program. Points are back for everyone, and a lot of former core foods are now known as filling foods and highlighted in the booklet. But you gotta keep track of your points. When I signed up this time, I did it with the intention that I’d do the core program this time. I found that last time I’d keep up the motivation to track points for about a week or 2, then fall off. With core, I’d have a list of good foods to eat and that’s it. The list wasn’t restrictive at all, unless you insist on living on a diet of fast food and junk food. I knew I could do it with the guidance of the core program.

I am so over counting points.

I’ll still attend the WW meetings at work, since I paid for it. But I’m already aware of what I put in my mouth, and I make a decent effort at eating healthy as it is. The place I need to make more of an effort is planning and shopping. I need to have enough of a plan so I don’t make bad choices at the supermarket. And I need to plan well enough ahead so that I bring my lunch to work instead of going out all the time (that second one saves $$$ too). Buy healthy snacks for work, which is my downfall, and have plenty of healthy stuff at home. Just tell me what those healthy foods are so I don’t go nuts. Give me the alternatives so that I can satisfy my cravings without major sabotage. Don’t make me count points. I don’t mind writing down what I eat, but I don’t want to do the math. It takes up too much of my precious time. While I understand the reasoning behind keeping a food diary - to make you more aware of what goes in your mouth - I think that once someone has a decent grasp of what’s good and what isn’t, counting points/calories/whatever can be counter intuitive by focusing too much on food. Food should be a healthy habit, not a point counting OCD nightmare.

I have to admit that even my chocolate cravings have waned quite a bit. Did you know that I have a bunch of chocolate here on my desk at home that has been pretty much untouched since I got it at Christmas? I’m not talking about the super yucky chocolate or something coffee flavored that I don’t like. This is the big H - Hershey’s. I love Hershey’s chocolate. I love it so much that I look at it every day. If it were in my desk at work, it would not have made it to see 2009. I obviously have the willpower to resist. Plus I find a nice glass of chocolate milk (lactose-free skim) does so much more for me than a candy bar or brownie. And honestly, I think the vitamin regimen is helping too. I recently started a daily cocktail of calcium, magnesium and a daily multi, and I really think it’s helping. Put it this way: I have PMS right now, but you’d never know it by my cravings. How unbelievable is that?

So like I said, I’ll continue the WW at work, at least for this 10-session period. But what I really need is to take all the information I have and come up with a healthy way of eating and living that works for me. I’m tired of being overweight, and tired of counting points. I think there’s enough good information in my arsenal to start forming healthier habits. I’m determined to do this!

That’s how old I am now. Most people don’t believe me when I tell them that, which is really flattering but annoying all the same. I don’t feel like I should be 35. I feel 29 or 30 at the most. Thirty-five just sounds . . . so OLD. That’s not me. I’m not old. I don’t even feel old unless my 15 year old nephew, bless his 6′2″ beanpole little heart, asks me if they had computers when I was in school. He asked ME that, not my husband who was also included in the conversation, who is a few years older than I am. He asked his hip, cool aunty that. Punk.

So, birthdays. I just had one. I’ve had really crappy ones in the past. One involved misunderstandings and the loss of a friendship. Another one saw me listening to a message on my answering machine in which I was dumped by my boyfriend of 5 months. Fast forward oh, a few years or so, and now the friendship has been repaired and is thriving. The ex-bf, on the other hand, is not enjoying the karmic kick in the nuts he got by what he did to me. He contacts me from time to time on IM, and it’s clear that his personal life, while showing some promise back then, is not where he’d like it to be. But that’s his problem. My issue, the one of not caring much for my birthday because of crap that happened years ago, is over. All because of my wonderful husband.

I’m not the kind of person who will ask for much, which frustrates the shit out of him. (Hush up, Mommy.) The way I see it, I have pretty much everything I need and want, and therefore have a hard time coming up with gift lists when someone asks. Other times I have a hard time replacing a perfectly good object just because there’s a new and better one available. That’s the frugal part of me. So anyway, my husband gets annoyed that I just don’t want stuff. But in another conversation earlier in the week, I showed him a headboard from IKEA that I thought would work well in our bedroom, since the wall behind our bed is a huge, tall empty wall. He liked it and wondered when we would have time to go, since the nearest IKEA is a 4 hour drive. I suggested that since I had planned late days during the week, I’d be able to leave early on Friday and we can run down there. So we did. I got out of work early yesterday and we jumped in the truck to IKEA. We were also supposed to have dinner with a friend who lives in the area, but she had to take a raincheck because she felt a bit under the weather (nice pun, eh?). So it was just IKEA and back.

This was one of those things that makes me fall more and more in love with Mister. That he thinks so highly of me that he would drive 4 hours to a store and let me loose to shop to my heart’s content, and that he tells me it was worth it because it made me happy. I always think that it’s my job to make him happy, so to be with someone who wants me to be as happy as I make him is just so sappy sweet and my eyes are starting to tear up just writing this.

I don’t feel as old as my age says I should feel. But I certainly feel loved.

Some people have the misconception of me that I am a good, church-going person who would never do anything to offend anyone. That’s mostly true. I try to stay out of trouble, and have thus far succeeded. I do try to attend church on a regular basis. And I don’t like offending anyone. What I do like, however, is offensive humor.

I love the movie Borat. There’s ROFLMAO as an expression, then there’s actually rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. That’s what Mister and I did during the hotel scene. I laughed so hard that I thought I was going to barf. This movie managed to offend pretty much everyone - nothing was off limits. That’s what I loved about it. You can’t be too serious if you hope to enjoy this movie.

Clerks 2 was another one that’s on my list of movies to buy. It starts off much like the first movie, with Dante and Randall going to work, this time at a fast food restaurant. The scene that got me was the over-the-top going away party that Randall planned for Dante. To this day, every once in awhile Mister will declare “I miss my donkey.” So inappropriate, yet too funny.

I love the tv show Mythbusters. It’s a very popular show, sure, but I don’t watch it to see myths get busted or even for the science of it. I watch it because they blow shit up. Yep, I like watching explosions on tv. And I love how, when trying to get bigger results, they resort to the motto “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing.” Hee hee. Oh, and Zac, if you happen to be reading this right now, I just made this whole paragraph up. I’m telling you this for the safety of your entire neighborhood - there’s no such thing as a tv show where they blow stuff up. You don’t need cable. Really.

Top Gear is another great show. I’m not a car geek at all, even though my dad owns a garage and has some classic vehicles in his collection. I don’t watch it to find out which loud, shouty car is tops on their list. I watch it for the challenges. They’ve used real cars to play soccer. They’ve run an Indy-style race using camper vans. They’ve made their own stretch limos from average, everyday cars. They tried to turn a Fiat into a rocketship and launch it into space (they failed and blew a big hole into the Northumberland countryside). And they’ve turned cars into amphibious vehicles and actually succeeded in getting one of them to cross the English Channel. The challenges and all the crashes they include are what keeps me watching that show.

Oh, shit, I almost forgot. I like to swear.

Remember how I used to participate in CD mix exchanges all the time? How I used to do Music on Mondays posts? How I have a whole page on my blog dedicated to music but it never gets updated anymore? The point is, I like music. I take it personally much in the same way that John Cusack’s character does in High Fidelity, though I don’t have quite the collection that he does. I’d even go so far as to say that listening to music is a hobby of mine.

I listen to my iPod at work most of the time to avoid the deafening silence of paper being shuffled for 8 hours a day. I always keep CDs in my car because commercial radio more or less sucks. But it’s been a long time since I’ve gone out and explored new music. If the birthday fairy brings me some iTunes gift cards so I have $ to spend at the store there, I can quench my appetite for that. (My birthday is this coming Friday, btw.) I brought my iPod home this weekend to update it, which hasn’t been done for months, and I bought some headphones this weekend so that my process of picking music for my iPod doesn’t drive Mister crazy, and I can listen to my music without interfering with Mister’s music.

Did you know that amazon.com has free music in their MP3 store? So does last.fm. I’m listening to Pandora right now, which could be an option for work, except that I find it a bit too interactive for when I’m supposed to be working.

Since I have the new headphones, another project I’ve been working on is uploading all the CDs that I got from mix exchanges. I’ve gotten so behind on that, and I really need to get it all in because I’ve found so much great music from those exchanges. If I had time, I’d participate in more exchanges, but I barely have time to blog anymore, so spending hours obsessing over my collection for that perfect mix just isn’t in my schedule. But I do miss them. I was rereading the “liner notes” I created for those mixes the other night. I usually include the reasons I chose the songs with the song list, which is something I always like getting when I receive mixes.

So, armed with my new headphones, I’m going to spend some time today revamping my listen-at-work mix for the iPod and uploading some CDs. Besides the mixes, I only have maybe 1/4 of my personal collection uploaded. Here’s to music!

Everyone talks about being “green” these days and what we can do to help save the planet. I saw some great suggestions on Blissfully Domestic, but there are a number of reasons why I can’t follow these particular suggestions. Here are the suggestions, followed by my comments (in italics).

1. Plant a garden. The average American meal travels about 1500 miles to get to your table. You will cut out a lot of carbon by growing some of your own food. It will also be fresher and better for you and your wallet. I live in the desert. My backyard “landscaping” as installed by the builder is a bunch of rocks - not even a variety of different rocks. All the same rocks. Oh, and the HOA won’t allow water features or irrigation to be installed.

2. Get a rain barrel. Rain barrels save water that runs off you of roof so that you can use it to water your plants. I could put a barrel in the yard, but it would be filled with dust. And cobwebs. That’s how often it rains here.

3. When spring cleaning use natural cleaning products or better yet make your own! I spotted a bottle of Simple Green under the sink the other day. I’ll have to use some of that. But mostly, to avoid using harsh chemicals when cleaning, I just avoid cleaning.

4. When planting flowers go with native plants. They will do better in your climate. Native plants here are sagebrush, which isn’t much to look at and turns into tumbleweed when it doesn’t rain for a year. I’ll stick with the all rock look, thanks.

5. When feeding your native plants and food garden use TerraCycle’s plant food. It’s all natural and will help your plants thrive. No need to feed tumbleweed. It does just fine on its own.

6. To keep bugs away from your other plants, plant marigolds. See above comments about plants. As for bugs, there’s just a few spiders in the backyard. And one out front by my garage.

7. Spring is a wonderful time to check the farmers markets in your area. You will not only get wonderful fresh local food, you will also be helping to support your local farmers. If there are farmers markets in the area, they won’t be local. Everything will be shipped in from California, just like at the grocery store.

8. To keep your family safe from bug bites use EcoSMART’s organic bug spray. I just avoid the resident spiders, because they can kill.

9. EcoSMART also sells bug sprays to spray around your home to keep the bugs out of your house. I don’t have bugs in the house, but sweeping and vacuuming from time to time helps keep them away.

10. With the weather getting better ditch your car and walk when you can. You will not only reduce your impact but get some good exercise. The good weather came and went. That lasts about 2 weeks here. It’s now summer. Yes, I’d lose weight if I walked, but I’d also be so sweaty and stinky they’d ban me from the office.

Sure, my answers might seem like they are in jest, but there are a lot of suggestions out there that just can’t work for everyone. I would love to plant my own garden or even just be able to shop at a farmers market with real local produce. Back where I grew up, there were farm stands all over the place that people flocked to like flies on poo when anything was in season. I also went to high school in a town that was known for the apple orchards. But that stuff just doesn’t grow with no rain, water restrictions and 110 degree heat (45C to those of you who prefer Celcius).

I also don’t like harsh chemicals. I don’t like things to smell like chemicals, and my hands crack and dry from mild hand soap, so it’s not too great on my skin either. My house *is* clean, though not always as clean as I’d like it to be because I’m busy and don’t always have time for that. But I don’t go for chemically sanitary.

And the car. Everyone has to talk about the car. Take the bus instead, they say. Sure, I wish I could spend less on fuel. Who doesn’t? But I go through about 1 tank of gas about every 2 weeks in my compact car. I drive back and forth to work, go to church, and to Target every few weeks. I grocery shop on my way home from work, at a place that is on the way home. And while my husband has a big old truck, we almost never drive it, because he’s not going out during the day when I’m at work. At most, he has to go out maybe once or twice a week, but that doesn’t happen every week. If he hasn’t been out in awhile, we will take the truck out to ensure that it still runs after sitting out in the blazing hot sun. But there’s another side to this story - while the truck isn’t fuel efficient by any means, it’s cheap. It’s paid for and is in decent shape. It has high mileage but keeps going just fine with routine maintenance, which doesn’t cost any more than my car. But why don’t I take the bus instead? Because it would take me over an hour to get to work, when I can drive there in 10-15 minutes. My time is more valuable than the money I would save on gas or the feel-good feeling I would get by not driving. I would have to leave the house before 6am in order to make it to work on time, instead of 6:45 like now. I wouldn’t get home until 5:30-6pm, and that doesn’t include any shopping I need to do. Today I did grocery shopping and was still home by 5:30. Oh, and in this weather, I’d shower a lot more and have way more laundry to do. In this parched landscape that I live in, it’s not worth it. I choose being frugal over being green here.

So I will continue to drive to work, look at the boring rocks in my backyard, avoid cleaning my house, and staying away from spiders, all in my effort to help save the planet.

About a year and a half ago, I wrote about how I was joining the WW cult because it’s offered at my work at a discount. I did great at first, lost some steam as things went on, then had to quit going to meetings because a project I was working on went live and sucked ALL my time. Well, things are a little steadier these days, and it’s being offered again, so I’m going to try again.

I’m still struggling with the extra weight, but I have made a few changes. I now drink almost no soda - diet or otherwise. I’m too cheap to buy it at home, and cost reductions at work mean it’s not free anymore. I’m on all water, with the occasional single-serve Crystal Light for some flavor, and if I really need a caffeine fix I have to drag my butt down to the cafeteria to hit up the vending machines. Also, I am so much more familiar with my comfort zone. I rarely overeat any more. I still have a ways to go in cutting out the sweets at work. I seem to go nuts at work with sugary snacks, but I still have Christmas candy on my desk at home. Go figure. I also need to make more of an effort to exercise more. We have a treadmill in the living room, and it faces the tv, but I rarely use it because I can come up with a whole bunch of excuses for that.

I’m getting tired of not having much of a wardrobe. I’m not a total clothes horse by any means, but at this size, I hate shopping. Nothing looks good, and I barely have enough clothing to make it 10 days. I do have a whole closet full of clothes that I love and actually look good on a slimmed-down me. I kept them because I really like them, I am determined to fit in them again, and because clothes are expensive. At least I won’t have to run out to buy new pants when the current ones fail to stay up.

I’m also tired of not having much energy. I am so much more out of shape than I was when I was out of shape 20lbs ago. I have a desk job, which doesn’t help, but I get winded climbing the stairs. I don’t like that feeling, so something needs to be done about that.

On the good side, like I said before I am very familiar with my comfort zone, so overeating is not usually an issue. Also, I am nearly 10lbs lighter than I was when I first weighed in at WW in January 2008, and most of that weight loss has been in the last 6-8 months. My weight no longer starts with a 2! That’s a good thing, and I hope to keep it going and get down to my ideal weight sometime before I turn 80.

Now please excuse me while I *ahem* try to convince my husband that he is going to do this diet too. Right now he keeps whispering sweet nothings in my ear and it sounds a lot like “Cold Stone.”